We open with our theme music.

Our guest, Alexis Wilkins introduces herself over the music: "Hi, I'm Alexis Wilkins. I'm an alumna of ZTA, and this is My Zeta Story."

As the music fades out, podcast host Hailey Mangrum kicks off the episode. "Alexis is here with us today. And I just want you to introduce yourself, maybe talk about your journey into Zeta Tau Alpha."

Alexis: Sure. So I was initiated in fall 2007 into the Theta Delta Chapter at Salisbury University. Obviously, I had a great time in undergrad during my—I guess it wasn't four years—three and a half years. Made some of my best friends, you know, bridesmaids, all that good stuff. Post graduation.

But then I felt as though into like my twenties, I've kind of just been in this journey of really finding myself. I feel like everyone always says that, like, you know, "oh, I'm finding myself." That's what your twenties are for, I feel like, but mine has a lot to do with how I saw myself physically. And then that also would obviously play into how I saw myself mentally and emotionally and spiritually because I feel like all those things work hand in hand. Kind of just developed this passion for helping women be their most authentic selves and show up in themselves in ways and love themselves when it has to do with how they see themselves in the mirror every day.

Hailey: Yes! I was on a call with one of my friends the other day and they were talking about—of course they're like into... they have their Ph.D. and they're very scholarly and all that good stuff. And they talked about this idea of turning to a phenomenon. And we were talking about writing and he was sharing that there's something that gets us to write about the things that we write about. There's a—there's a style that each writer has, or something that turns you to this phenomenon, right? So, there's something that turns you to said purpose or something that turns you to said passion.

When you think about your journey and what you're passionate about, was there a moment? Was there an event? Was there like something that occurred that turned you to be passionate about what you're passionate about?

Alexis: It was a series of moments. I can't pinpoint just one thing, and unfortunately, a lot of moments tie back to negative experiences. So, it was just me trying to find a way to see myself.

And that was tell a story about actually, I was young. I was still in college at the time. I came home for a weekend and I put on this pair of Old Navy skinny jeans. So I like I'm like I got them from the store. So, I came out of my room and mom's like, "What are you wearing?" I was like, "I'm wearing skinny jeans." And she was like, "But you're not skinny." And it came out so like, easily and I can remember the exact, the exact moment, and I'm just like, "Okay, cool." Like, you getting from your own family is, I think, the hard—I think—the hardest.

And then, as I've gotten older—as most people's bodies do, they change, your weight fluctuates. So just trying to find this comfortability in how I felt and what I looked like and then had to be like, okay, like—having to be like "forget everyone else." Be more like "how do I feel?" Because so many times you take on the expectations of everyone around you and besides, like with your body in your life, your career, whatever it is. But it has to be like how I feel about myself in that moment, in that day, that can help positively impact myself in other people.

Hailey: Oh, you—you brought out some stuff for me. And I think about—I tell my friends all the time, like, I didn't find my beauty until now. And I'm still I'm still discovering it. And so I've always been outspoken, you know, front of the room, like, "I'm the queen!"

Like, one of my nicknames is Queen Hailey, like legit. I tell a lot of people that came from me trying to unpack, you know, why I didn't keep myself as a queen or why I didn't think of myself as beautiful. A lot of that stemmed from my upbringing, right? And so I think a transformational moment for me was my childhood and being told that, you know, I was too big. I needed to work out or lagging, you know. Or the comments about, "Are you wearing that?" or "that's not for your size?" Different things like that.

What would you say to a collegian or a young woman who was struggling with her, her body image, her identity in that?

Alexis: I would say that struggling is totally normal. Very rarely do people, that I've ever heard, especially in a, you know, in a college setting, are happy with how they look no matter what that size is, big, small, whatever it is. But I would say, it gets better when you like, you get better.

So, like, if you make a conscious effort to focus on this in a negative way, it will have a negative impact and that will continue for years to come.

But if you make the decision that: I'm going to change this and I'm going to love myself every day, even on the days where I'm a little bloated or whatever's going on, I have a pimple or whatever, then you will see that impact in other parts of your life.

Hailey: All right. So, Alexis, if you had a sticky note that you could give, like it was printed and I have like a quote on it, two or three words, or three different bullet points or whatever that you could share with individuals about leaving themselves or taking only me or their body type or being confident. What would that sticky note say on it?

Alexis: Well, to quote the great RuPaul—at the end of every episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, Ru always says, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love anybody else? Can I get an amen?" like that is like, what I feel like I play it by head all the time because truly when you feel that love internally, that's what you give to the world.

And I've noticed that the better I feel about myself and I can take that feeling and that confidence and spread it to lots of other women. And that's really like my goal. others.

Hailey: Yes! I love that. It is literally—I think it bounces off the saying, "empowered women empower women." Like how can you empower others if your bucket isn't full, or you don't have something to, to empower others by, so thank you for sharing that.

Can you tell them about your—what you were telling me before we started?

Alexis: Oh! Yeah. So I am a fashion blogger on top of like—I wear many hats—one of them though is fashion blogger and influencer. And I've recently worked with a local boutique in the Baltimore area, but is also available online, called Poppy and Stella as you wanted to relaunch her size inclusive fashion for a store, and wanted me to carry the size inclusive fashion line.

So I worked with her—we went to New York on a buying trip and everything that we picked out, I would say 80, 90% of it runs in size XS to 3X. So anyone and any woman, in any size, can find something that they feel and look good in. There's accessories, there's shoes. My main goal was that there's something for everyone and it's I guess over almost 30 items that we went through and it was so great to curate it. But now, seeing women actually buy it and love it and feel good in it, is the greatest feeling.

Hailey: Yes, I love that!

Alexis: Like there's lots of these big brands doing it, but typically like a boutique experience, you're only going to get like a smaller selection. So it was so important to me that at a boutique, women can walk in a local store—into a local store and that can fit because normally we have to go online or there's just like, you know, five big brands that we can shop at. But Let's be able to walk into any store, and not have like a small section at the back, and just find something you want to wear.

Hailey: Literally, I tell my friends, they're like, "oh, just go to the mall, to go to the store." That's not in my lived experience, like I can't do that. But I'm just like, I want more options. Like, I can't go in the cute sometimes boutiques or you know, smaller stores, like little stores in the mall that have like a few selections because they don't have my size—or they may have an extra large, but for real, for real, it's not extra large.

Anything else you want to say about this topic or something pressing that you want to share about your story, about why this is important?

Alexis: I just, like I said, I feel like this is so important and I feel like me just helping to inspire confidence in women, no matter what they look like—it's just the greatest passion of my life. And I'm so happy that I can do it in so many different ways and different outlets. And I'm glad this is one of them.

Hailey: Well, thank you for your authenticity. I had so much fun chatting with you.

Alexis: Yes! Thank you so much, Hailey.

Hailey: Yes. Thank you for sharing this story.

Alexis: Of course!

The outro music fades in. Over it, Hailey says, "Thanks to Alexis for joining us and being so kind to share her own Zeta Story. And thank you for listening, and be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on an episode."